CJ' s REFLECTIONS

CJ's Reflections

As I write this I am looking out the window at a calm and clear lake in southern Virginia. My children were raised here on this lake. Here I taught them to swim, canoe, water ski and fish. While we lived here I worked as a life insurance agent. One of my duties was to process death claims. I quickly learned how important it was for families to talk openly about their final wishes. This has powerfully been reinforced recently with the demise of two people I have grown very close to. The first, Milan, had time to make his wishes known to his family and those that he loved. The other experienced a sudden and unexpected event that took her life. She was unable to share with her family what her wishes might have been. Fortunately, she had shared some of her thoughts with me and that seemed to help the family greatly.
Death is an uncomfortable subject for many but it is something that we all should talk to someone about. While funeral arrangements are certainly important, it is just a part of the end of life planning discussion.
Modern medical advances are wonderful and save lives everyday. They have returned people to productive meaningful lives that would not have been possible even five years ago. However, these same life saving techniques can be a way by which the dying process is unnecessarily and unkindly prolonged. These medical advances don’t always bring about the desired results. It is appropriate to try them if there is a chance to restore one’s quality of life. If we (each of us) have conversations with our loved ones and let them know how we would like them for to handle those “end of life” situations, it may make hard choices easier on them and alleviate some of the guilt people often feel after having to make those difficult choices.
Funerals are also easier for families to plan and execute when guidance is given in advance. Having conversations about this emotionally charged topic is difficult and there are resources available to help. For example, a lawyer can document your wishes in a living will. Everyone should also have a health care power of attorney, with family members either having copies of these documents or having them on file with your doctor.
Most funeral homes well help you pre-plan a service in advance for little or no cost, until the services are performed. Some will also give you forms to record your own wishes that family members can refer to in the event of your passing. A final will is necessary even if you do not have a large estate. Leaving directions for loved ones will make a difficult time for your family easier to handle.
I will also help anyone who would like to have a conversation with their families. I have a list of questions to get the conversation started in a helpful manner. Knowing what you’d like to say before the discussion begins will minimize stress levels for all. The best time to approach this topic is before you get sick. Write your wishes down and revisit them often. Wills can be changed. Please love your family enough to give them some guidance before they have to make choices none of us want to make.
Hope to see You Sunday
Pastor C. J.
P. S.
Thank you for the wonderful Christmas gift and card. I have not yet decided what I am going to do with it but am thinking of a couple of options that were not possible without your generosity. Thank you one and all.
Pastor C. J.